becca wants you to know that she is very gay

but here it is, photographic proof

(this is probably how chaos are conceived)

each VMU has both an "innie" and an "outie"... that's queer af!

sega leading the way, as always

why must i be smart?

i wish my head really were empty, no thoughts.

rather than simply relating their experiences and thoughts on them.

idk, i'm also new here, but reading "hey, so, i'm experiencing a thing in this particular way, and that makes me feel ways" seems to hit me vastly different than "queer people experience thing and it works like this and it makes us feel this exact thing"

and one of those also, despite sounding more authoritative, actually sounds like it's something far more alienating (and it feeling more alienated, itself) to me.

this is important to keep in mind, i think.

writing is good, and it can help us find our thoughts, and even strengthen our bonds to each other by recognizing our common themes and struggles, and allowing for support for those places where we face unique challenges.

i think it's best at those effects when it's not a product though. i don't think you can claim to be seeking community with writing that isn't at least somewhat personal and vulnerable. and i don't know what writing in an actually personal and vulnerable way would look like while attempting to "build a brand" or make your writing a commodity (these things feel, to me, like they're opposed); which are things most social media, i think, creates incentives to do.

anyway, i wrote a really personal thing. i don't even think it's trying to say anything… but it's there and it's a jumble of highly personal thoughts that have been going around in my head for a while, and i hope it's utterly ineffective at building any kind of brand or marketable persona for myself.

"age", for me, feels... weird.

like, in calendar terms, i was born just over 41 years ago. in queer community terms, i'm still a baby… only really grappling (at least in any practical way) with my experiences in not fitting the cisheteronormative mold for roughly one year. (and what a year. i mean. damn.). and, currently, i have the hormonal system of a mid-teen girl with all the associated impact on mood, with the slight upside that however old i look to other people, it's definitely under 40.

there's probably a thesis/antithesis joke somewhere in there, but i'll skip it. the rest of this is already rambling enough as it is.